When Your Parent Moves In
Program Titles
- Work out some basic guidelines for both sides
- Consider your parents situation
- Accept, and understand
- Takes love, patience and hard work
- Go over the logistics of the new living arrangement
- Health Education Cardio Vascular Disease interactive education program
David Horgan is an award-winning medical educator, promoter, filmmaker, and writer. “When Your Parent Moves In” Opting to care for one’s aging parents is certainly worth ironing out on both sides of the equation.
Emotionally trying and complicated at times?
Absolutely. But, he concluded: “It helps if you have the right guide.”
As we get older, so do our parents. Occasionally, our parents need to move in with us for whatever reason. If this has happened to you or might happen, David Horgan and Shira Block have some advice.
I had my mother-in-law come to move in with me. I was not prepared for it. As you can imagine, we had bumpy times in the beginning.
When your parents move in, it doesn’t happen automatically; all of a sudden, you wake up, and your parents are elderly and can’t care for themselves. It usually happens slowly over time. You are not thinking it will get worse; things have changed, and now, I can accept this change.
When you think about moving your parents in, you need to be really careful about the impact on your parents and your own core family. It is not the right decision for everybody.
When you take your parent out of their home, much will change for them.
They don’t know who the mailman is and where to go to the store. When you take away their routine, what happens is they expect you to fill in the pieces.
A lot of the preparation has to be about filling in the social and emotional components without you being the sole person responsible.
People make this decision at a time of crisis. Decide at a non-emotional time.
Should you move your parent in or not?
You are responsible for lovingly caring for your parent; how you do it would be individual.
We did not do assisted living. We had the resources to have someone go into their home and care for them that way, but it was very expensive, and not everyone had those resources.
So, how do you make the decision?
You make the decision based on other factors. I have the biggest house. Instead of looking, what is best for my parent?
How do I best care for my parent most lovingly?
Remember, this is not a child but an adult who lives a fabulous life.
We think core family unity is essential. It has to be respected. You also want to respect their boundaries. You know, maybe Mom doesn’t want you to go into her in-laws’ apartment when you feel like it all the time.
It is privacy. When you take two adults, you have to create the alpha person in the relationship. There have to be some guidelines about what is acceptable.
It can be a challenging and stressful time for the family.
David Horgan was awarded the Freddie Award for excellence in interactive education by the American Medial Association.
His other writer/producer honors include a Silver Cindy, a Bronze Cindy, and being named for the American Medical Association/Time Inc.
Award for his Health Education Cardio Vascular Disease interactive education program.
Times have changed, and Americans no longer necessarily have an extended view of their families; it is part an acknowledgement that our familial tribes have become spread out and more narrowly defined.
When he was growing up, his grandparents’ house provided shelter for extended family members.
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