- How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?
- Disciplining Children through Divorce: Limit their Behavior but Not their Thoughts
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT: Preparing Your Children – with Love! She never thought her marriage would end in divorce. She is sure you didn’t either.
You’re getting a Divorce! Or maybe a trial Separation. Either way, it’s a challenging time. For you, your spouse, and especially for your innocent children.
She struggled with the anger, the hurt, the gut-wrenching fear, as well as the anxiety and guilt. What’s worse, she struggled with the burning question that kept me up for weeks:
How do I tell the kids?
Are you facing the same dilemma?
Are you wondering … when to break the news to your kids?
just how you’re going to tell them?
whether to do it alone or with your spouse?
And most important of all – are you unsure about … what you should say?
You that you’re not alone.
There are answers to your questions. Valuable answers. And there’s a simple way to tell your children in a manner that eases their pain, reassures them of your love and helps them get through the many challenges ahead.
How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?
doesn’t just tell you what to say. It says it for you!
It’s no secret. Telling your children about the divorce may be the most difficult conversation you’ll ever have. Why leave it to chance?
So you don’t have to worry, spend sleepless nights or beat yourself up about making a mistake … saying the wrong things … falling apart … or not having answers to your children’s immediate questions.
She has prepared for you an actual template – the word-for-word text that tells you just what you need to say – in age-appropriate language for children 5 to 10 or 10 to 15.
And then she guides you, step-by-step, in preparing an attractive personal family storybook, in a photo-album format, that your children will want to read.
She doesn’t just tell you what to say – she actually say it for you – with love and compassion!
1. You are, and always will be, loved my Mom and Dad.
2. You are, and will continue to be, safe.
3. You are not to blame for any of this.
4. Mom and Dad will still always be your Mom and Dad.
5. This is about change, not about blame
6. Everything is going to be okay.
The benefits for both you and your children are immeasurable.
You will be … confident about how to begin, end, and just what to say all the way through the “divorce” conversation·
Prepared to share with your children the six essential concepts they need to understand and accept·
aware of what your children may be thinking and feeling so you can respond accordingly
· secure, as a role-model for your children, on how to handle disagreements and discord with dignity, integrity and respect
· proud, for the sake of your children, that you took the high road as you venture into your separation or divorce
You will feel …
· totally prepared to tell your kids about the divorce – because you will be!
· empowered about conveying your message with understanding, compassion and love
· confident you’re giving your family the best possible foundation for a healthy and harmonious future, despite your divorce
· capable of creating and maintaining a Child-Centered divorce
You will know …
· how to avoid anxiety, awkwardness and stumbling for just the right words
· you have a text you can refer back to so that you stay on track – even when emotions run high
· how to communicate in the language your children (between the ages of 5 and 15) will understand – and appreciate
· what to expect, how to respond and be prepared with answers to inevitable questions
· you are giving your children a wonderful storybook about them and their family that they will want to read over and over again for reassurance
· how to access resources you can turn to, including: articles, organizations, attorneys and therapists, to give you additional support in the coming months
Your kids will …
· feel safe, loved and accepted during this difficult time in their lives
· know and understand they are not responsible or to blame for your divorce
· discover that change, while frightening and difficult, is inevitable and can turn out okay
· appreciate having a storybook about them and their family that they can read again and again for reassurance
· grasp, through text and family photographs, that life goes on from the past into the future, and there will be many happy experiences to look forward to ahead
· hear, and start to accept, the six key messages essential to help them through the divorce and beyond
· avoid the anxiety and guilt of having to choose or make other decisions that are not their responsibility
· remember the respectful way you handled the challenges Mom and Dad have been experiencing
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